What The Heart Wants
by standwithyou
Summary: Panic immediately spread through his body at the thought that maybe there might be an armed gunman preparing to burst through the door. But it wasn't. Relief flooded over him as the familiar sound of heels on a hardwood floor filled his ears. One-Shot.


**Author's Note: Hey, Everybody! This is the first Castle story I've ever published and I'm really excited to see the reaction. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to the genius that is Andrew Marlowe.**

…

It has been a week since they solved her mother's murder. Closing the case had been no easy task. The sniper who shot Beckett had tried to tie up another loose end, but this time he wasn't so careful. The sniper left DNA at the crime, and a sketch from an eyewitness was all it took to capture him. The APB had been out for only a day when they got a hit. After over two hours of Ryan and Esposito leaning on him in the interrogation room, he reluctantly broke. It was a miracle that they even got him to confess in the first place. After looking into his financial records, the team realized whoever had hired him hadn't given the sniper his cut yet. That leverage was the only reason that Beckett had finally been able to slap the cuffs on Judge Markaway, the man behind her mother's unlawful killing. Beckett had wanted to confront Markaway, but Captain Gates stubbornly sent her home claiming that Beckett "needed some time to reorganize herself." Castle had offered to stay with her for a while, but she of course said no, wanting to be alone. He had understood that, knowing that when she was ready to talk, she would come to him. Pushing her would just make matters worse. That is why Richard Castle hasn't seen or heard from Kate Beckett since the day Captain Gates had sent her away.

…

It had been exactly a week since Castle had last seen her. She still lingered in his mind at every waking moment, but he tried to focus on other things. He was in his office at the loft, smiling, as he sat at his desk with his laptop open on his lap. Alexis had started at Stanford a few weeks ago, and yet on top of all her school work, she was constantly updating him on how she was doing. Not that he minded of course, he would rather have her sending him e-mails and pictures every night than having her send him nothing at all.

He had just finished reading about what Alexis had done that day and he was now furiously typing his response. Once he finished the letter, he sent it and exited out of the window. He was about to close his laptop, then he saw his screen saver. It was a picture of Kate, and he again smiled at the fact that he had stopped referring to her as Beckett or Detective in his mind a long time ago. The picture was one that he himself had skillfully taken with his phone at the book launch for _Heat Rises___when he had been sure she wasn't looking. In the photo, she was facing him, engaged in a light conversation with Lanie. She was smiling, one of her bright smiles that made his heart skip a beat. She was wearing an emerald green, silk dress that was backless and flowed gracefully when she walked. He thought that she had looked too beautiful, and in his mind, not memorializing the moment was practically a sin. Castle looked over the picture once again, thinking of how much he wished he could just reach out and touch her, before slowly closing his laptop and placing it carefully back down on his desk. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his hand over his face.

In the back of his mind, a voice sounding strangely like his mother's said, "_Darling, isn't that a little odd?_"

"_No_," He thought to himself, "_I don't think it's odd to have a picture of the woman I love as my screen saver_." He needed to stop having internal conversations with himself. Castle glanced at the clock, it was 12:18 p.m. Going to bed wasn't really an option, because he was the farthest thing from tired at the moment. He stood and walked out of his office towards the kitchen. He was reaching for the refrigerator when he heard a noise coming from the hallway outside the front door.

Panic immediately spread through his body at the thought that maybe there might be an armed gunman preparing to burst through the door. "_No, it's over. You're fine, it's probably just someone who got off on the wrong floor_." But it wasn't. He moved towards the door cautiously, listening intently. Relief flooded over him as the familiar sound of heels on a hardwood floor filled his ears. Castle knew it couldn't be anyone else. His mother was at a spa across town until morning and Alexis was on the opposite side of the country. "_But why is she here_?" He thought curiously, his face contorted with confusion as he moved ever closer to the front door.

As he moved closer, he could hear her voice. Castle couldn't make out what she was saying, but from the sound of her footsteps, he could tell she was pacing.

Out in the hallway, Kate Beckett was having a fierce internal battle with herself. All she wanted was to knock on his door and see his face, make sure that he was still there. Make sure that he was still Rick Castle, the man she knew and trusted. The only man she'd ever truly loved. It seemed as though lately everything had come undone and her basic foundation of life had faltered once again, as it so often does. For the past week, she had done nothing but sit in her apartment and think about anything and everything. Beckett knew that she should be happy now that it was over, that she had _finally _gotten the mother the justice she deserved. She knew she should be happy, and to a certain extent, she was. After thinking everything over, she felt angry. It baffled her how Judge Markaway had been able to sit across a table from her, play poker with her and sign all of the warrants without ever flinching, or feeling the slightest hint of remorse.

She thought back to the day that Ryan and Esposito had interrogated the sniper. Gates simply refused to let her in the room, knowing that neither Beckett nor the sniper were safe in a room with each other. So, Beckett reluctantly sat behind the glass in the observation room with Castle as she watched Ryan and Esposito slowly, but surely, break the man who had almost killed her. Kate Beckett had a special kind of hatred for this man. Not only did he try to kill her mere days after her beloved captain had died for her, he tried to take her out of this world before she would _ever _have the chance to tell Rick how she felt about him.

She would never tell him how he helped save her from herself with his books, how every time he looked at her, her breath hitched. She would never tell him how much she loves him, or how she would never be able to kiss him for _real_. There were so many things they wouldn't do together, and so many things she had wished she told him.

Kate tried to calm herself, telling herself that she was fine and she was safe. More importantly, Rick was safe. He would no longer have to throw himself in front of bullets aimed at her, or watch her die in his arms again, at least not from this. Not from her mother's murder. She would be kidding herself if she thought she wouldn't get shot at anymore. She was a cop, it was foolish to think otherwise.

Beckett looked up. She had gotten so lost in her thoughts she almost forgot where she was. Kate was pacing in the hallway outside of Richard Castle's front door.

The only reason she had for being here at an unreasonable hour was simple. She could not stop thinking about him. It had all started behind the glass during the sniper's interrogation.

…

_She heard the door open and close. Beckett barely registered it as she watched Ryan and Esposito start the interrogation. The familiar and enticing scent that filled her lungs told her it was Castle. _

_They said nothing. For the next hour and a half the stood behind the glass watching the sniper unfold. Beckett paid close attention, but thinking about it the week she had been home, the only think she could seem to remember was the feeling of his presence next to her. His hand on her lower back, rubbing soothing patterns as the interrogation progressed. _

_After the interview had completed, and the sniper was being escorted from the interrogation room, she finally turned to face him. His deep blue eyes that she often found herself hypnotized by, were full of concern. Even though she was fighting so hard to keep her emotions in check, she found it nearly impossible to hide her feelings from Rick. She felt a few hot tears roll down her cheek when he finally spoke. _

"_Hey, it's going to be ok," He reached out to wipe the tears from her face and cupped her face with his hands, wishing she would look at him. "It'll be over soon…It'll all be over." _

_Kate looked at his through watery eyes and he smiled comfortingly at her. To his surprise, she managed a small smile, reached up, and wrapped her arms around his neck. For a moment he didn't know where to place his hands, so he put one on her lower back and began softly stroking her hair with the other._

_Rick heard her draw in a shaky breath before releasing her hold on him. Kate reluctantly took a step back, both of them missed the feeling of being in the other's arms immediately. _

_They stared into each other's eyes for a few moments, neither of them speaking. After what seemed to be hours, Beckett reached out and took his hand in hers. _

_Kate looked into his kind and comforting blue eyes, squeezing his hand gently, and said, "Thank you so much, Rick."_

_Castle smiled one of his dazzling smiles that she never got tired of and brought a hand up to caress her cheek lovingly. Very slowly and carefully, his eyes swimming with insecurities, Rick leant into her and placed a kiss on the corner of her mouth. _

_Kate's eyes fluttered close at the contact and her lips parted slightly, the soft, almost non-existent touch sent a shiver up her spine. The kiss lasted a little longer that it normally would have, but neither of them had complaints. He pulled his lips away from the corner of the mouth and then leaned into her so that his mouth was right next to her ear. _

"_Always, Kate. Always."_

…

"What the hell are you doing, Kate?" Beckett muttered to herself as she began pacing again, unaware that Castle was listening to her on the other side of the door.

She knew her reason for being here, she wanted to see him. Quench the thirst she had to see his face ever since she last saw him. The fact of the matter was, every since that moment in the interrogation room, she hadn't been able to stop her train of thought from bringing her back to Castle. The way his lips felt on her skin, or how the way that he whispered in her ear made her shudder. The words he had said alone were enough to have her dreaming about him every night.

Behind the closed door, Castle's mind was reeling. "_Why is she here? Why isn't she just knocking on the door_?" He smiled, knowing that she was most defiantly struggling with herself about what she would say if she scrounged up the courage to actually knock on the door. "_Wait a second_…" He thought, his smile turning into a smirk. He took a step back from the door, a wave of uncertainty washing over him, and his smirk fading. Castle reached out and quickly opened the door.

…

Beckett flinched when the door had opened so abruptly. She froze with embarrassment, feeling the heat creeping up her neck, when she saw Castle staring back at her curiously. At the same time, the relief of seeing his face put her at ease.

"Hey, Kate." He said softly.

"Hey, yourself." She said, smiling at him. He smiled back, both of them drinking in the sight of the other.

"Would you like to come in?" Castle asked after a moment of silence.

"I'd love to." Said Kate, stepping past him into the loft. She shrugged off her coat and laid it on the back of the couch. Castle shut the door, and turned back to face her. Kate was wearing her usual black stiletto's, skinny jeans, and a white button down shirt. Her hair was curled, the way Kate knew he like it, and the dim light coming from the kitchen bounced off of her mother's ring that hung around her neck.

He thought she looked as amazing as ever, standing in his apartment with a small smile on her face and a million different emotions flashing in her eyes.

"Want something to drink?" Rick asked, walking towards her, placing a hand on her lower back as he led her to the kitchen.

The feeling of his hand on her back made it hard for her to even come up with a response, but she nodded and let him lead her into the kitchen, where he started pouring them glasses of wine.

Kate walked behind the counter to watch him as he got glasses from a cabinet. Her eyes soaked him in as she looked him over. He was wearing a midnight blue dress shirt that bought out his eyes, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and the shirt was tucked neatly into his jeans. Kate could see his back muscles moving under the thin material of his shirt and she found herself wanting nothing more than to reach out and run her hands across his back, shoulders and his strong chest that she knew he hid under all of his clothes.

Beckett snapped out of her trance when he finished pouring the wine and turned around, holding out her glass.

"Thanks." She murmured, taking the glass from him.

She took a sip completely aware of his eyes on her. Rick admired her, her chocolate brown hair shining in the lamplight. He imagined what it would feel like to run his hands through her hair while he kissed her until she couldn't remember her own name. He knew he was staring, so he took a sip from his own glass before setting it down on the counter next to hers.

"So Detective," He smiled, "what brings you here tonight?" He tried to sound as casual as possible, making sure she wouldn't run away.

"Oh, I…" She looked up to find his eyes boring into hers. Kate knew there were no more reasons to lie to him, she couldn't bring herself to. She could wait any longer. Kate wanted to take the leap. "I came to see you."

The truth of her statement showed in her eyes, and Rick found that he was having a hard time pretending that the air around them wasn't crackling with tension.

"I'm glad you did." Rick said, hoping that the sincerity of the statement was clear.

Kate didn't know what to say. She couldn't find the right words to tell him all that she wanted to. She had stopped fearing that he didn't feel the same way about her long ago. Kate heard him when she got shot. Since then, she has wanted nothing more than to say the same thing back to him.

"_Well_," She thought, "_It's now or never_."

Beckett looked into his eyes, every feeling of love that she had ever had for him was taking over her body.

"Rick…" Kate started, his eyes looking hopefully back at her. There was a thousand different ways for her to say this, and she was having trouble picking the best one. After a moment, she finally settled on one. "Ever since my Mom was murdered, I was always sad. No other feeling would ever be able to dominate over the sadness, because there was just too much of it."

Kate found her voice shaking, and it was becoming difficult to hold Rick's gaze. But she was determined. It has been almost four years, and she doesn't want to wait any longer. She doesn't want to be trapped behind the walls she's built.

Rick seemed to sense her nervousness, because stepped closer to her and reached out to grab her hand. Kate welcomed his touch; it urged her to continue.

"No matter what I did, no matter how happy or scared I was, nothing could overcome how sad I felt." His thumb began rubbing smooth circles on the back of her hand. "Nothing made me feel truly happy…" She stopped and smiled at him, a big, genuine smile that made his heart melt. "Nothing made me truly happy, until I fell in love with you. You make all of the sadness and grief melt away. You make "

Castle's face broke out into a grin that could light up the entire city, and she reciprocated it, but she wasn't done talking.

"Kate, I-"

"No, shh..." She cut him off, bringing the hand that wasn't being held captive by his up to his cheek, loving the feeling of his skin beneath hers. "I'm not done."

"Okay." He said, joy dancing behind his eyes.

"I never wanted to bring all of my baggage to a relationship with you because I knew it would cause both of us pain. Solving her murder last week…I realized that I couldn't hide from you anymore. The heart wants what the heart wants…and my heart wants you."

No sooner had the words escaped her mouth that his lips crashed down on hers. It took her a moment to respond to the kiss, her eyes fluttering closed as his skilled lips gently nipped and teased her own. Kate let go of his hand and ran both of her hands up his chest and around his neck, loving the feeling of his solid body under her fingers.

Rick placed one hand on her hip and the other hand on her cheek, lightly guiding her lips against his. They seemed to fit perfectly, they both moved fluidly against each other. Kate moaned involuntarily when he nipped at her bottom lip, asking her permission to invade her mouth. She granted him access, opening her mouth under his. Their tongues met in a war for dominance, a battle against tongues, lips and teeth. Years of built up tension fueling their desire.

When the need for oxygen became overwhelming, they reluctantly broke apart. Kate rested her forehead on his as they both tried to catch their breath, her hands entangled in his hair and his fingers running up and down her sides, causing her body to erupt in goose bumps.

Once their breathing had returned to normal, Rick pulled back from her and looked into her eyes. He saw, most prominently, love. He also saw fear. Castle understood how she might be scared, but he promised himself a long time ago that he would never hurt her and he's sure that she knows that. His heart swells at the amount of courage it took for Kate to open up to him, and in this moment, holding her, nothing could make him happier because Katherine Beckett loves him.

Rick brought his hand back up to her face, running his thumb over her lips before leaning down and gently molding her lips with his. Every feeling of love spilled out of his soul and tumbled out onto her and he could feel her doing the same.

Castle pulled back and softly said, "You know what this means, don't you, Detective?"

She smiled and asked, "What?"

"This means that we're in a relationship. It means I get to take you on dates, and get jealous when we go undercover and you flirt with suspects."

She laughed and in a voice of mock hurt, she said, "When do I ever do that?" Kate playfully slapped his chest and kissed him again, just a quick peck on the lips.

When she pulled back, Rick said, "You know what else this means?"

She raised an eyebrow questioningly in her signature way, and he continued.

"I love you."

She stroked his cheek, her heart swelling with happiness, and said, "And I love you."

"Always?" He asked, in a tone that was full of promise, with only a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"Always" Kate replied. And she meant it.

…

**Comments? Concerns? Review, Please!**


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